Want to know the practical systems that make a full time career plus homeschooling your children lifestyle work? Start HERE.
Want help navigating the conversations that hold it all together? Read on.
If you’ve read my other post, How We Make It Work: Full-Time Career + Homeschooling Three Kids, then you already know: none of this works without communication.
Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.
-Maya Angelou
And I don’t just mean check-in texts or a shared Google calendar. I mean the honest, sometimes vulnerable conversations that lay the groundwork for making this life possible — and sustainable.
With Your Partner
Communication with your partner means getting specific and staying connected in the now:
- Be clear about what support you need — today, not just in general.
For example, I might remind my husband that I am delivering a training session that afternoon and need the entire morning to prep. When he knows it’s a high-pressure workday, it gives more meaning to his patience with the kids — helping them stay calm and independent so I can stay focused. - Ask, “What’s feeling heavy for you this week?”
This one’s easy to skip, especially when your own plate is overflowing. But it’s so important. I’ve learned to stop and notice just how much we both carry. Our loads may look different — but they’re equal. What feels light for me might feel heavy for him, and vice versa. That’s what makes us a strong team. - Have a weekly reset check-in — especially when you’re both running on empty.
This doesn’t need to be a full-blown conversation (unless it needs to be). A simple “Did anything go particularly well or hard this week?” can go a long way.
Example: If one of our kids is struggling to focus during math, we might switch up who’s teaching that subject. Just a fresh voice can make a difference — it’s like when one parent says “go clean your room” and the kid resists… then the other says the same thing and suddenly, it happens. Go figure.
With Your Boss
Boundaries (you set) Build Trust — Not Walls
When it comes to your boss, the key is advocating for yourself with confidence and clarity — not fear or apology.
- Lead with your work ethic, not your fear of judgment
- Tie flexibility to outcomes, not hours
- Communicate proactively — before you’re overwhelmed
Examples of language:
- “To meet the project deadline, I’ll need focused time from 9–12 each day…”
- “I’ll be offline from 3–4 but will have the deck ready by 6.”
- “I’m available for team meetings M/W/F afternoons and can stay flexible around those.”
And don’t forget to share your wins — not to brag, but to remind your manager that things are getting done (even if not during the typical 9–5).
A Quick but Important Note:
I know — for some people, this is easier said than done. I’ve worked in environments where it felt unsafe to ask for what I needed.
When I was pregnant with my first, someone very high up in the chain — someone who had the power to grant me the ability to work from home during that final, exhausting month — flat-out refused. I was commuting two hours each way with feet so swollen I had to wear thong sandals. Once I got to work, I’d literally have to prop my feet up on my desk just to get through the day.
So trust me when I say: I understand that transparent communication with your boss isn’t always possible — and sometimes, it’s risky. If you’re reading this and you’re in a situation like that, I want to gently encourage you: start networking now. There are work environments out there that will respect and support the life you’re building. I’ve been fortunate to experience that kind of support in most of my career — and I want that for you, too.
With Yourself
What Do You Need Right Now?
Before you can name your needs to others, you have to be honest with yourself.
- Your internal dialogue matters most.
- Give yourself permission to admit when something’s not working.
- Let go of the guilt that comes with asking for help.
- Create simple check-in rituals — daily or weekly — to ask: What do I need today?
Naming your needs isn’t a weakness — it’s the foundation for making your lifestyle sustainable.
Call to Action
Ready to name what you need?
Make a short list right now — one thing you need from:
- Your partner
- Your boss
- Yourself
Then say it. Out loud. Or, write it down.
Because you’re worth it — and your lifestyle shouldn’t be about being superhuman.
It should be about being honest, supported, and intentional.
In Summary
- Be honest about your mental load and emotional labor
- Use regular check-ins and “what do you need today?” convos
- Share the why behind your lifestyle with your partner
- Normalize re-negotiating roles when life shifts — new jobs, babies, stress cycles, all of it
You’re not just keeping the house running. You’re modeling healthy communication — for your kids, your coworkers, and yourself.